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Sunday, January 23, 2011

I just wanted to go home...

Yesterday I made the worst mistake I can make. I told the hubster I was sick and just wanted to go home.

This was said on a public street where I was carrying bags of groceries. I was going one way, he was going the other and he came up with the bang up idea that I should tote the groceries BACK in the direction I had come from, wait in line at the Post Office with him and then we would walk home together, each carrying one of the two heavy bags.

So, after a show of putting the light things in the tote bag he was using for his four envelopes and hefting the grocery bags with a long sigh accompanied by rolling his eyes back in his head and claiming he wasn't being mean when I accused him of such he trudged off one way, I went the other. I put the groceries I had away and collapsed on the freshly made bed...which, I would like to mention, the hubster had actually made and I appreciated to no end. Thanked him for it too. I received no response but I did my part.

He came in a few minutes later. I got up to see what the ruckus was. He was trying to shove the perishables in the fridge. I mentioned that the dried up pitcher of pancake batter didn't need to stay in there, nor did the empty drink cups from Boston Market. He left the kitchen and went back to his laptop. I finished putting away the groceries and went back to bed and a movie I'd seen about 100 times.

A few hours later I got up. My head felt as if someone had inserted a bicycle pump in my ear and was filling my sinuses with air. The left side of my face was visibly swollen, I was having difficulty opening my left eye. My teeth hurt...something I learned was caused by the pressure the sinuses are putting on the roots of the teeth. I was somewhat lightheaded. My ears were popping. And, you know the tickling sensation you get right before you sneeze? Well, I had that. But I wasn't sneezing. And it NEVER WENT AWAY! It was making my eyes water. My ears were humming a loud and constant tone, C sharp is my guess.

I decided to get up and make myself a cup of jasmine tea. The type of tea I made is irrelevant, I suppose. The hubster was still at his laptop. The television was droning yet some OTHER challenge on the Food Network, where it had been broadcasting ever since I had turned on Ina Garten about one bothered to change the channel. My son asked what was for dinner.

I made mac and cheese, btw, not my best effort. Roasted some broccoli. Had the kid toss a bag of Caesar salad and went back to bed.

I got up this morning to find every damn dish in the sink. Not even soaking. Just thrown in the sink. The casserole dish from the mac and cheese, drying on the counter. The Pyrex I had roasted the broccoli in was shoved in the fridge with three florets and a couple of cloves of garlic in it.

I felt better this morning and spent an hour cleaning the kitchen and making waffles for breakfast.

It's not like I get sick a lot. I took three sick days last year, and, honestly, one of them I wasn't all that sick. But I was reminded of the time a few years ago when I came down with either stomach flu or food poisoning. I woke up at 4am doubled over with cramps and spend the next 24 hours barfing my brains out. This was the Saturday before Easter Sunday, I had people coming over for dinner. Well, about 7:30am I staggered out to the computer and told the hubster he needed to call the guests and tell them I was sorry, but we couldn't do this. He asked why.

At 9am I grabbed the phone and started calling people. He had decided it was way to early to call people and tell them they needed to hie themselves to their nearest Ralph's and grab a ham because I wasn't cooking one for them. My kids took turns bringing me tea and emptying the bucket by the bed, the hubster decided to watch "Psycho". My step MIL, who had greeted my phone call with the comment "oh great, NOW what am I supposed to do?" called. Why didn't we package up everything I had for dinner, the hubster and the boys could bring it to her house and they would have dinner there? Not a bad plan. They came in late, I slept, it was fine.

The next day after everyone had left for work and school and I had called in sick because I still has having trouble straightening up and was green to boot, I knew my 24 hours of hell was over. I decided I needed to eat something. Not wanting to go overboard, I decided to boil a potato. I got up and went to the kitchen. WTF? They hadn't even eaten at home and there were dishes everywhere. They had brought the ham back from my in-laws and left it out on the counter. Even with a dishwasher (I had one then, I don't now) it took 45 minutes to get everything loaded and clean the kitchen to the point I could actually peel a stinking potato and get it in a pot of water.

The the hubster steadfastly claims he does NOT believe housework is "woman's work". This, I suppose, might be true. He doesn't consider it HIS work, he doesn't really care who else does it. One day, I'll be dead and he'll end up on "Hoarders", you mark my words. Many years ago I had to go over to his mother's house and clean out his old room. It took a month. There was a path from the door to the side of the bed so he could get in. I'm not exaggerating, my MIL could vouch for that. Well, she could, she can't now, she died 8 years ago, but, as much as she didn't like me, she would have vouched for that.

Anyway, yesterday, before the sinuses exploded, I got my hair cut. Not trimmed, cut. I think somewhere on my head is a piece of hair that measures 2 inches, it's the longest I've left. I had her take about six inches off, there was hair everywhere. It's sort of a full pixie cut now. Have you ever wondered why they call it a pixie cut? Tinkerbell was a pixie and she wore a bun. I'm a 56 year old woman with a round face and a full moon where my butt used to be. "Pixie" isn't in my repertoire anymore.

The hubster hasn't noticed it.

I found myself thinking that if he had felt HALF as bad as I did yesterday he would have been in bed, under the covers, asking for tea, chicken soup and drugs.

I took two Sudafed Sinus with a cup of tea and slept it off. Which enabled me to get up, clean up the mess in the kitchen and make waffles.

And the balance has been restored.


  1. I'm glad you're on the mend.


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