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Friday, June 11, 2010

They call it...Girl Talk

Well, I've had a few days for the results of last Tuesday to sink in. First off, may I just say: Meg Whitman? Really?

Now, to try and sum this up, Meg Whitman campaigned on these basic issues:

California is broken. She will fix it. She will bring business back, fix the state legislature (which I wasn't aware was broken until Meg told me) and she will fix education. Fix. Her word, not mine. As in "just FIX it." Meg spent a reported 70 MILLION dollars of her OWN money on this campaign. 'Cause she wants to "fix it."

Meg, however, has failed to identify exactly WHAT needs fixing. More importantly, if she knows how to fix it she's keeping it to herself. Sort of like John McCain announcing he knew how to find and capture Bin Laden.

It's estimated that Meg will have pumped approximately 125 million of her OWN money into this campaign by the time November rears it's chilly head. As most of her money is invested in Goldman Sachs she seems to have done rather well. If she'd just donated the cash to California we wouldn't be having such financial woes now. And the "opposes Barbara Boxer". I'm still not sure exactly WHY that's relevant and neither, I fear, does Meg. But it sounded good. Only a really conservative Republican would oppose Barbara Boxer I guess.

According to Carly Fiorina though, Meg is at least smart enough to know she's not up to appearing with Sean Hannity. Which brings us to Carly.

First off, I'm not sure a Senator should be names Carly. Sounds kind of lightweight. But I'll admit, this is something particular to myself. I suppose as the newer generation ages into maturity and activism Capitol Hill will be liberally peppered with Senator Tiffanys, Congressman Joshs, and the Jonas Brothers.

Carly too, ran an interesting ad campaign. Carly seems to feel that California is in the crapper because small businesses have left the state and small business creates jobs and she's going to see to it that small business comes back to the state and creates more jobs.

Now, let's ignore, for the moment, the sort of obvious conclusion here, which is that Carly's campaign is more in the realm of what the Governor would be addressing while Meg and her opposition to Barbara Boxer seems to be eyeing the Senate - and move to the really BIG payoff. Carly is in favor of small business and knows all about it. Because...wait for it....Carly was the CEO of...


When Carly was in charge of HP she engineered the "merger" with Compaq. This cost HP millions and millions of dollars. Which she then saved them by outsourcing most of the HP rank and file to Bombay or someplace.

To make a long story short, in 2005 the executive board of Hewlett-Packard ousted Carly's boney ass. Within an hour of the news hitting the streets HP stock had risen over 10 dollars a share, although it eventually settled just short of 7 when the market closed that day.

Carly has neglected to mention that. She has also neglected to mention that the obscenely high amounts of her personal fortune she poured into this campaign came from the "golden parachute" she pulled the ripcord on when HP booted her.

So now we're set. Carly will run for Senate against Barbara Boxer because Carly says Barbara is a commie pinko liberal who's been in office way too long. Well, sure, Carly only held HER last job for five years or so, I can see how she would feel that way.

Senator Boxer, however, has learned something in her long tenure that Carly Fiorina apparently hasn't. All microphones are open, Carly. If they're in 30 pieces on a technician's workbench, they're STILL open. All guns are loaded and all microphones are hot. Learn these two basic tenets and you'll go far. I taught them to my children.

Carly announced that Barbara Boxer's hair was "so yesterday" into an open mic. She's running for Senate and this is what she comes up with? She has bravely announced her comment stands and she's not going to apologize for it. She made this comment, btw, while on camera. Looking like this:
Um, Carly? Do you own a mirror? You're wearing an evening suit at 7am and what's with that necklace? And, by the way, have you seen Kay Bailey Hutchison's hair lately?

Now for the obvious. As a citizen of the Golden State, I personally worry more about what's going on INSIDE my representatives head than about what's on TOP of it. And now I know what's going on inside yours, Carly. And it's just a bit too shallow for my taste.

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