I'm reminded about the time, years ago, when there was a serious war somewhere in Eastern Europe, if I remember right it was the mess in Bosnia. In the first place, I had discovered BBC News. It's hella cool, they cover stories that aren't about Lindsay Lohan. I sort of LIKE knowing where, in importance, issues like Bosnia rank in the rest of the world. While here is was usually the fourth story, on BBC it was #1. Well, there was the news footage, tanks grinding down streets, locals and national military lining the same streets, throwing stuff. And then...there it was!
An upraised middle finger!
First off, that's something one would NEVER see on an American news broadcast and second, I was suddenly struck with the fact: IT'S A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE! Holy crap! If they're flipping the bird in eastern Europe, I bet they're doing it in Asia too! It means the same thing, that was pretty obvious. Who needs Berlitz! We can communicate with anyone, at any time, via hand gestures. Okay, okay, I always knew I could use them in Italy but now I know...it's worldwide.
This is why you think that the news report about the woman with the batshit crazy neighbor who finally went off the deep end end and was found wandering the town square naked at high noon is actually about your aunt. Everyone does the same thing. They may do it in another place but we're all people and we all do batshit crazy things at times and if we haven't we probably will soon or know someone who already has. So if you read the Internet and decide someone else's blog is about you, well, yeah, you might want to bulldoze some land from the top of the big rock candy mountain of an ego you've been standing on because it's NOT all about you.
Although, since it IS my blog it's all about me. Perspective wise, anyway.
Now...AFTER the Walmart trip I found that, while I'm now well stocked with pudding cups, I still needed fabric. I have the world's tiniest bathroom with the world's tiniest window and no fans or overhead lights in the shower or the tub. The tiny window affords little more than a vent for, well, let's just say it's a bathroom. Use your imagination here. If you don't know what's venting out the bathroom window there's no hope for you anyway. This steamy little room grows two things. Philodendrons and mold.
I'm constantly spraying mold and mildew remover on the walls and I'm constantly replacing shower curtains. I've never been in a position where I didn't have a shower door, so this is kind of new to me. I've discovered I like a pretty shower curtain and I need two of them because when they "renovated" my bathroom they took off the shower door and lost it (and I'm sure as hell not paying to replace it, I'm not the one who lost the damn thing) and they left me one of those spring loaded rods in it's place. This means I always have to buy TWO curtains and, let me tell you, whoever came up with the idea of commercially made shower curtains has one of the greatest rackets going.
So there I am, looking at the mold spots on yet another shower curtain and suddenly it hits me. I can make my own! It's nothing but a big square of fabric with grommets and I have one of those things that put grommets in fabric (I believe it's called a hammer). But then I don't really like grommets and I figure button holes will do a fine job.
Have you priced fabric lately?
And then, yet another brilliant idea! The garment district! Dollar a yard fabric and I can change the damn things out for 10 bucks whenever I feel like it. So Saturday, I get on the subway, all my myself. I do not remember the last time I went anywhere all by myself, except to work. Well, not since I had kids, anyway.
Now I'm cooking with gas.
Home I trudge with 8 yards of fabric and a huge bouquet of sunflowers. As I chugged up the escalator at the subway station into the light of the week-end afternoon I felt like Mary Richards, coming up the escalator with that big pot of chrysanthemums. I think they were mums, anyway. Then I realized I have a lousy haircut and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and that escalator wasn't at the Mall of America so I lost that one fast.
Sunday I'm ready. I'm gonna cut and sew. The fabric I bought was white with black flowers with bright pink centers. I'm going to make a BIG square, and make 12 hot pink button holes to go over the shower hooks. I opened the closet door to get my spiffy Brother practically-makes-the-damn-quilt-by-itself sewing machine.
I closed the door just in time. Do I really need to go into detail on this? I didn't think so.
I'm hoping that, by this coming Saturday, I'll have sorted and removed and organized enough of the stuff that's been stuffed in there to actually FIND the sewing machine.
Told you. I'm an optimist.
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