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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Only in America

I'm baaaaaaaack.

This last two weeks has been hell on wheels. I have actually found something I dislike and mistrust as much as I dislike and mistrust the website called "MouseTurd." Sorry, that's "MousePlanet." I hate inaccuracy and avoid it whenever possible. I would LOVE to go there, but there aren't really enough pages and it's so easy to lose interest after paragraph six. So I won't. Let me just say that, around my house we now refer to Wells Fargo as


Wells Fucktard.

Now, on to current programming.

Meg Whitman? You will NOT be re listed. The "Buy It Now" button you installed on the State of California has been disabled and someone else won the auction anyway. If there was any doubt at ALL that you didn't know your own ass from a hole in the ground you (and Carly, but we're getting to her later) proved last night, with unequivocal certainty, that you haven't a freaking CLUE how your new chosen field works. Maybe if you had taken the remotest interest in the system before you needed a new job you might have figured it out.

Because if you had the slightest idea of what the hell you've been doing for the last 8 months you would have KNOWN that Los Angeles County and San Francisco and it's adjoining counties have more registered Democrats than the adjoining six states put together and when the election was called based on the projected vote it was OVER. You do NOT look at the 1% of actual voted ballots from San Bernardino county and claim "We're in a dead heat." Well, the dead part was right.

This is basic election night politics, my CAT knows this. I will try and explain. Let's say 10% of the ballots from Los Angeles County have been counted. And let's say 45% of the ballots in Modoc County indicate they're going to vote overwhelmingly for you, Meg. And the 10% of the ballots currently tallied in Los Angeles county indicate that they are going to vote overwhelmingly for Jerry Brown, who at least speaks Spanish, something you never bothered to learn. Anyway, you look at the actual numbers, right? 2500 votes for Whitman in Modoc. 6000 votes for Whitman in Los Angeles. Totals 8500 votes for Meg. And let's say, oh, 57 votes for Jerry Brown in Modoc and 8400 votes for Jerry in Los Angeles. A difference of what? Less that 50 votes?

However...Modoc County cast less than 3000 votes total. Los Angeles county physically cast in the neighborhood of EIGHT MILLION VOTES. Meg? Math lesson time.

60% of 8 Million is a way bigger number than 60% of 3 thousand. Just saying...

At least you conceded before midnight. I especially LOVED your optimistic statement "Tomorrow, we will ALL be Californians." Meg? I'm probably going to regret asking this, but just WHAT were we before? I've always thought I was a Californian. I've lived here since 4:20pm on June 2, 1954, at least that's what my birth certificate says. I thought that made me a Californian. Now, I'm not so sure.

I also wasn't sure Carly was going to concede at ALL. Same thing. No freaking CLUE how the political machine runs. No freaking CLUE how to call an election.

On the other hand Meg, you spent over $140 million of your own money on a campaign where you were promoting fiscal responsibility for the state. Carly, you spent a modest (by comparison) 6 million and something on a campaign platform that consisted mainly of saying "I'm not Barbara Boxer" and hammering away on the "principles of out of control spending." Although, now that I think about it, I suppose it's possible you were espousing "out of control" spending and, if you were, I've certainly sold you short, as you practice what you preach. There's a lot to be said for someone who stands behind their own rhetoric and teaches by example.

I'm actually somewhat embarrassed that these women represented the State of California and women in general...embarrassing. Seriously embarrassing.

So it's over for another two years. My father is, most likely, reverting back and calling Governor Elect Brown "Governor Elect Moonbeam." I haven't talked to him yet but, like the sun rising in the east, my father's conservatism in the extreme is a constant. As is my progressivism.

As bad as it was, at least we weren't running Christine O'Donnell. This could bring about an entire new blog. I will say I enjoyed the hell out of her concession speech last night and at least she had the common courtesy to acknowledge that she had gone down like a flaming bag of dog crap before every last vote was counted. I really liked her announcement that Delaware would never be the same. Um, hello? Delaware was represented by Democrat Joe Biden and that torch has been passed to Democrat Chris Coons. Delaware sort of IS the same. In case you hadn't noticed.

While I'm indulging in a small amount of pleasure at the lovely shade of blue the West Coast is currently showing, I'm saddened by two things. One...all you people who voted down legalized pot. Did you ever consider that kind of TAX money over the counter weed would bring in? And Colorado voted down the proposition to form an Alien Welcoming Commission. I would have applied for that commission. I can see it now, a bunch of Californians smoking legal weed waiting around to welcome aliens.

God, I love this country!

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