Throwing her ...hat into the ring.

Well, holy cow and BFD! Big news broke last night here in the Golden State. Yep, we, like everyone else, are gearing up for an election in less than a month. Usually this is a source of countrywide derision, as we have a tendency to nominate, and elect people like George Murphy, Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's not as much fun since Iowa elected Gopher, but we still pretty much have a corner on, well, let's just say we're broad minded. And we like it that way.

I would LOVE to chat about Carly Fiorina vs. Barbara Boxer but frankly, there's not much to talk about there. Carly runs commercial after commercial in which someone opines that the country is in the crapper, California is in the crapper and, since Barbara Boxer is the Senator from California we should elect Carly Fiorina. This is pretty much all she's got. Well, that and a basquillion bucks she took with her when Hewlett-Packard pushed her out the window and she pulled the ripcord on that golden parachute she was wearing.

But Der Governator is at the end of his term and alas, he runs no more. He didn't do the state much good but he didn't do it a lot of harm either. No lit Tangere, I think it is. So now we have a governor's race going on. For the Democrats: Jerry Brown. Jerry comes from a long line of California politicians, his father, Edmund (Pat) was governor, Jerry himself has been governor, Attorney General and Mayor of Oakland. Many people of a generation not unlike myself remember him as being dubbed "Governor Moonbeam". This was by people in the Midwest who have no freaking CLUE what goes on here on the coast, were probably threatened by his Jesuit education and had problems with Brown's steady gal pal, Linda Ronstadt.

Jerry's running again. Good on him, I had money in my pocket when he governed the state before, I'm good with that.

Representing the Republicans: Meg Whitman. Former CEO of eBay. I said it in June and I'll say it now...What the HELL were you people thinking?

The woman was on the board of Goldman freaking Sachs for Crissake! She got nailed for insider trading, had to give a boatload of money back and paid herself a sweet $100+ MILLION BUCKS her last year at eBay. A congressman from her OWN PARTY called her "corrupt". She has put forth no actual plan for California other than lifting regulations on business (you know, that costly clean air stuff) and "fixing" things. She's gonna "fix" education. How? Well, I guess she'll tell us that if she gets elected, kind of like McCain was going to tell everyone how to beat the Taliban if HE got elected. And apparently, Meg is SO actively concerned with the great State of California and the Silicon Valley (the place that was so good to her) she hasn't voted in something like 28 years. Yep, activism at it's finest.

There's a muddled mess going on regarding Meg's former housekeeper, who seems to be claiming that Meg is a monster who employed her knowing full well that she was an illegal immigrant, then fired her when Meg decided to run for Governor. I'll give Meg the benefit of the doubt here, there's an awful lot of name calling going on between Meg, her former housekeeper and Gloria Allred (the housekeeper's attorney). While I'm probably inclined to lean a little in the housekeeper's direction on this one I must be honest and admit...it's a lot of accusations and counter accusations and I'm not really sure who, if anyone, is telling the truth. The answer to that is probably going to end up being "no one", but time will tell.

Up until now, this has all been pretty cut and dried, actually. Jerry is leading Meg by a sizable margin, Barbara is leading Carly. Ho hum.

But yesterday...Oh my. BIG, breaking news! Jerry Brown's campaign had apologized to Meg for calling her a filthy name. Or apologized because an associate called her a dirty name. Or maybe the associate called her a dirty name and Jerry repeated it in agreement. The news teased this all day, I was practically DROOLING to find out what he called her. Seems that Jerry was on the phone with someone leaving a voice mail message and forgot to hit disconnect. He continued to talk and there's now a recording of Jerry's campaign manager I think it is, referring to Meg as a "whore". Now one could say that you can't prove who was speaking. I've heard the tape, several times. Maybe it isn't, but it sort of sounds like Jerry to me. I'm okay with that. Also, it's a lousy recording. An argument could be made that he didn't say "whore". Well, I don't know what else it could have been, so I'm on board with that too. Jerry or his campaign manager or both of them called Meg a "whore" in a private conversation that was overheard.

Jeez, Jerry, that's the best you've got? THAT was the filth? Come ON, how filthy can it be when it's being run all over the networks with NO BLEEPS! Even the airwaves don't consider it that bad.

Meg's camp has countered with outrage and claims Jerry has insulted each and every California woman, vote for MEG! Well, right off the bat...I was born and raised in California and I'm not insulted. Not only that, I've actually been VOTING in California since 1972, which is more than I can say for Meg. I also don't think "whore" was meant in it's most literal term. Take a good look at her. No, I think we're looking at something along the lines of "attention whore" here. That doesn't offend me either.

In fact, if someone called me up right now and said to me "Hey, Jerry Brown just called you a whore" I would probably counter with something along the lines of "What a dickhead". Of course, that wouldn't happen, as neither Jerry nor Meg know me personally. Because if they did, they would probably know that I've been calling Meg an asshat for months now.

What offends me is that Meg is hiding behind her skirts and I can NOT STAND women who pull that crap. You want to stay off the public stage and be all girly? Great. Go ahead on, I will probably have apron envy. BUT...if you're going to step out on the field with the big boys you had better be prepared to swing at the hard balls and stand placidly at the plate with your bat on your shoulder when something as inane as "whore" gets lobbed outside the strike zone. You want to play? Grow a pair. Call him a prick. Accidentally, of course.

But for Gods sake, STOP whining that you've been insulted. If that's the worst thing she gets called in politics she's been on a rose petal covered path. Hell, if it's the worst thing she gets called ANYWHERE she's had a puff ball of a life. And don't tell people I've been insulted because of what someone said to YOU. That's a crock.

You know what insults me? I make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. I spent months at a job unsnarling idiotic mistakes made by a man who had no training in his field, had been at the company four years less than I had and was making $2.50 more an hour than I was. I've been to college. I also have a certificate in accounting. But he had something I don't, and it was worth an extra hundred bucks a week. THAT'S insulting. Although it does explain why you guys hold it in such high regard...

There are still a lot of things I don't know. But I know an asshat when I see one.

And you, Meg, are an asshat.