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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

And don't let the door hit you on the way out...

According to an Internet news story I just read, the History Channel is airing a documentary about the attack on the World Trade Center nine years ago. The attack was nine years ago -the doc will air this week.

They news story states that Condoleezza Rice, in this documentary, says that after the attacks in New York Bush wanted to fly to Washington D.C., like a good little leader. She says she yelled at him, literally raised her voice at him and told him to STAY OUT of Washington D.C. and then hung up on him.

Do you have ANY idea how many times I wanted to do that?

The White House has a listed phone number, you know. Honestly, it just never occurred to me it would be that simple. She then, according to the story, goes on to describe the complete and utter chaos reigning in the Capitol and the White House.

Now THAT’S comforting. It’s nice to know that the leaders of the country were running around like headless chickens during our time of crisis. I thought it was just my crazy neighbor letting her imagination run away with her. Of course, hers WAS the first news report I heard that morning, having opted out of watching television, and frankly I was inclined to believe her. I then ran inside, pulled all the drapes and cowered with the television until I sorted everything out and discovered my neighbor, while understandably nervous, had overreacted a tad. The National Association of 7-11 store owners was NOT getting ready to invade Burbank. Well, any more than they already had, I felt sorry for the guys fixing the Slurpee machine later that afternoon, now THEY looked batshit terrified. Of me.

I also really enjoyed the story Ms. Rice tells about how they were all shoved into the same bunker under the White House, herself, Cheney (and a whole bunch of scared people as yet to be identified) and the Secret Service started throwing non-essential people out because they were running out of air.

My first thought was hell…with all the hot air that gas bag Cheney expels, no wonder. But now I’m thinking, okay, maybe I’ll have to watch the documentary, because I’m wondering just who in the hell designed an emergency bunker and didn’t make provisions for fresh air? Can’t you picture it…Condi Rice, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove and god alone knows how many other “essential” personnel all huddled in a windowless bunker, watching the Co2 gauge go up while they frantically took off someone’s sock, ripped the cover off a flight plan and taped a garbage bag together to make a carbon dioxide filter?

Guys? This is the 21st century. You weren’t in a space capsule the size of my bathroom running on less power than my laptop uses. I think someone’s been watching too much Cinemax.

Nine years sort of numbs things, granted. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not sloughing this off as unimportant, or irrelevant. I will admit, it didn’t affect me with nearly the intensity that Kennedy’s assassination did. Jack AND Bobby, yeah, I’m THAT old. Or the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr. Those were events that profoundly shook my little world and, looking back, had a great deal to do with forming the person I am today.

I do know that the events of September 11, 2001, brought out a LOT of people’s true colors and not just the “leadership” of this country. I talked to my step mother-in-law later that afternoon, as I talked to many people. We’re a nation of phone users when it comes down to it. I told her I had concerns for the hubster’s aunt and uncle, east coasters for many years. Like pretty much everyone I wanted to make sure the people I knew east of the Mississippi hadn’t suddenly decided to go into lower Manhattan and have breakfast at Windows On The World. Irrational fears, granted, but I had them and so did you, admit it. Some of those fears may NOT have been irrational. I understand.

There had been a falling out between my father-in-law and his sisters over a rather shoddy real estate deal he had brokered for them, this I knew. Families fight. All the time. I didn’t think much of it. I asked if anyone had heard from them. My step MIL said she hoped they were IN the World Trade Center.

My step MIL had always exhibited bitch like tendencies but until that day I had NO FREAKING CLUE what a complete and total waste of space she could be. So I learned a valuable lesson. My MIL is a cold hearted witch. The guys at the 7-11 are just as scared of Al-Queda as I am. And Condi Rice is my new hero. She told Bush to stay the hell out of Washington, and he did.

Just not long enough. I'm guessing there wasn't enough positive re-inforcement. You know..."Sit! Stay!'s a treat." She didn't follow through.

I'm reminded of a movie with Sandra Dee and Bobby Darrin. They're newlyweds and very happy until he finds out that she's been using a "how to train your puppy" book on him. Well, comedy ensues and everyone turns out happy in the end. I'm wondering if that might have worked on Bush. Yeah, I know, it's water under the bridge, been there, survived it, moved on. It might be something worth remembering know, just in case...

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